Loneliness and Isolation Can Lead to Depression: Everyone Needs a Close Friend By RosalieG
Dr. Henry Cloud shares in his book Changes that Heal; How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future, that mankind was not meant to live in isolation and that to live in isolation can result in depression.
There are a number of reasons people might find themselves CBD isolate either temporarily or over the long-term:
-An individual might be poor at making friends. Maybe he is shy or has trouble bonding.
-Maybe there is a health issue acting as a barrier to others.
-A person may have had negative experiences in the past and are too afraid to try again.
-An individual might have moved to a location where they don’t know anyone.
-A person may live in a location where there aren’t many people around to get to know.
Sometimes feelings of isolation are a by-product of another good decision that was made. Perhaps a person has found and moved into his dream home only to find he misses the hubbub and friendly neighbours of his former neighbourhood. Perhaps a person moved away from family and friends for a new job, but didn’t realize how out of touch he would feel being so far away.
The job transferring couple might make the change for career purposes, financial growth or adventure without realizing how difficult it would become to make new relationships. They may encounter groups of people that are already tightly knit in their own communities and not welcoming, or people that are even sceptical of others entering their midst.
An at home mom can suddenly feel very isolated once her children no longer need her to supervise them at the playground. Connections with other parents tends to fizzle out over time, especially as others seem to have disappeared or gone back to work.
Health Affects of Isolation and Friendlessness
No matter the reasons for having a short friend list, no one likes feeling lonely. Loneliness isn’t just about self-pity; it can affect many other areas. Dr. Cloud suggests a life can become “chaotic” when this need for relationship is not met.
Loneliness is not a sign of weakness. In many cases, it is the result of circumstances. It also appears that the older people get, the more difficult it becomes to find or maintain quality relationships. Families break up, friends move away, die, or go back to work. Old friendships that weren’t nurtured are lost. People get too busy or too self-absorbed to spend quality time with others.
Still, finding friends is something that should always be on a person’s “To-do” list and if a person is open to “being a friend” to someone else, even better. There is proof that having at least one significant friend to share your highs and lows with can make you healthier and happier. Having a quantity of good friends is even better.
While you might often be with lots of people at work, in class or at other events, most are merely acquaintances. In these situations people will put their best face forward. You may never really know what’s going on deep inside of those around you.
Churches are full of lonely people. Some people go to a church hoping to connect with others and end up even lonelier when they realize the place they hoped would meet their needs the best fails them.
What Can Be Done to Relieve Loneliness
Unfortunately, it is often difficult to find someone to confide in. The search for close friends will be constant. It takes work to find gems. You will have to say “yes” to more invitations or instigate some yourself. You will have to stop analyzing every outing you’re invited to. You will have to not judge others, if you ever hope to find a friend. The truth is, there isn’t a perfect friend on earth. Even the best of friends may hurt your feelings, misunderstand you, and let you down. In order to have long-term friends, you will need to be resilient. You will also have to be giving, and become a good friend yourself.
In the meantime, a great tool to consider as a stop-gap measure is to use a life coach. Now, it may seem pathetic to hire a “friend” in the form of a life coach. In today’s society, however, it isn’t. Staying behind a computer or away from people isn’t going to stop your need for relationship. It doesn’t go away. Hiring a life coach to fill a gap might be the healthiest thing you can do when isolated or feeling lonely, until you can find a network yourself.
A life coach is different than a counsellor. You would go to a counsellor, perhaps because of depression or other difficult issues, but you might work with a life coach to re-energize yourself and stave off deeper issues.
If you realize you are having trouble finding gem-type friends, calling or hiring a life coach to chat with might provide the hope you need and set you in a direction to find what you’re looking for. A conversation with a life coach is deep and personal. You can get to the heart of the real you fairly quickly. A life coach knows you are meeting together to bear your soul, if that is what you choose to do.
You can work with a life coach in person, but more often by telephone, email or chat. Most coaches offer a free getting-to-know you session, and long-term or short-term coaching packages.